


Die For Something Beautiful

by ryujiku



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, Biting, Blood, Blood Drinking, Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Sexual Content, Suicidal Thoughts, doyoung is a bitch, only mark and donghyuck are in this... sorry dreamies, sicheng cries a lot, sicheng is needy and annoying, taeil is that bitch, taeyong is trying his best, taeyong struggles with parenting, yukhei just wants a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:29:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryujiku/pseuds/ryujiku
Summary: Sicheng is dead. Taeyong wants to show him what it’s really like to live.





	1. Strong Hearts and Broken Tears

Sicheng always loved the morning sun peeking through his curtains, but today it was blinding. The young boy hisses in response, grabbing for his cheap Hello Kitty comforter to throw over his head. However, he finds his fingers softly tugging against silk sheets that are far more tasteful than his pink and white bedspread at home. He jerks up in confusion, eyes scanning the unfamiliar room. The room is modern and tasteful, everything that Sicheng’s apartment is not. He breathes out slowly, trying to calm himself down and tell himself that he most certainly did not sleep with anyone last night. He was just walking home from a night out with friend, so how could he end up in a stranger’s bed? Then he remembers.

He should be dead.

This sudden realization causes him to grip at his neck, feeling the place where the vampire snapped it cleanly in half. There is no pain as his hands glide across his skin. He feels normal, content even—aside from the hunger silently nipping at his stomach. Sicheng brings his arms and knees to his chest, hugging himself tightly as if to instill comfort.

He remembers that moment before the vampire broke his neck like it was nothing. How he first bit into Sicheng, almost draining him dry before feeding him his own blood. He remembers the wicked look on his face as he pet Sicheng, cooing that it would all be okay as he let Sicheng feed off of him. The human foolishly fought back, spraying the vampire with a concoction Yuta said would protect him from things stronger than human before attempting to escape. The vampire hissed, gripping at its eyes as Sicheng dashed away, calling for anyone to help him. His attempts were fruitless as the vampire quickly recovered, one hand wrapping around his mouth and the other holding his shoulder before he ended the young boy’s life.

Sicheng shivers, tears beginning to stream down his face. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t come to understand. He wanted answers. He wanted to know where he was and who found him. He gripped himself tightly, fearful of the thought that maybe the same vampire that took his life had brought him here to hurt him again. Sicheng jumped as he heard a knock at the door, his feet scrambled to push him up against the corner where the bed and wall met, his body shaking. The door opened, and Sicheng warily watched a handsome man enter the room. Sicheng could only pick up on the melancholy expression in his eyes and the way his teeth tugged at his lips.

“How are you feeling?” The male asks, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Where am I?” He croaks out in response, shocked by the harshness of his voice.

“You’re in my—“

“What am I? Who— I—“ Sicheng sputters out before his body racked with sobs. The other patiently waited as Sicheng cried. “Please.”

The stranger sighs softly, taking slow steps to assure Sicheng he wasn’t here to hurt him. He gently sat at the end of the bed. Sicheng could now see his eyes, a soft mix between a red and a brown, and they watched Sicheng, providing the young boy with a feeling of security. The stranger opens his mouth, then closes it, his eyebrows furrowing. He copies his actions a few more times before running his hand through his hair and then looking back to Sicheng. “My name is Taeyong. I’m the vampire that found you. A Rogue killed you, turned you. You’re a vampire now.”

Sicheng shakes his head. Please, this couldn’t be right, he must’ve died and ended up in Hell instead of Heaven. He couldn’t be a vampire, he still had so much to live for. What about his family, and his friends, what would happen to them? Would he have to cut ties with everyone he knew, start fresh with a new life as a vampire? He wipes his eyes as new tears fall, horrified to find his fingertips coated in blood. Frantically he looks up to the vampire named Taeyong, hoping for anything to comfort him.

Sicheng watches as Taeyong’s calm expression twists into one of sadness. Taeyong pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, holding his hand out to a Sicheng. Hesitantly, Sicheng take it, his bloody fingertips resting in Taeyong’s delicate hand. The elder cautiously cleans the blood off of the newborn’s hand, and Sicheng watches his gentle movements. Sicheng sucks in a breath as Taeyong moves to his face, wiping the blood from his cheeks.

“It’ll be okay,” Taeyong says as he takes his time cleaning up Sicheng. His eyes are focused on Sicheng’s pale cheeks as the newborn stares intently at him. “I’ll help you. You aren’t alone in this, I won’t let you be.”

Sicheng, now calmer than before, finally takes in the man’s appearance. His hair is red, similar to his eyes, styled and swept out of his face. A small scar cuts into his eyebrow, the only imperfection Sicheng can see on his face. His expression is calm and beautiful as he takes care of the newborn. When he finishes, Sicheng is still watching him, his eyes big and waiting.

“How are you feeling?” Taeyong asks, his hand still holding Sicheng’s face.

Sicheng doesn’t even think before his lips move. “Hungry.” His stomach doesn’t growl like it used to when he was a human, rather he has this dark feeling in the pit of his stomach, like a monster clawing at him, begging to either be satiated or released. It’s a strange feeling, and it’s something he feels he must listen to until it’s happy.

“You will be at first, it’s your bloodlust.” Taeyong explains, his hand falling to his lap. “You are going to have to learn how to control it, or you might seriously hurt someone.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” he whispers softly, but he can still hear it the same.

Taeyong shakes his head, “You won’t. I won’t let that happen. I’m going to help you, I promise.”

“I’m Sicheng,” he blurts out.

Taeyong smiles softly, “I’ll help you, Sicheng.” Taeyong stands up at an inhumane speed, and Sicheng jumps in response, not used to the attributes of vampirism yet. “I won’t rush you, come out when your ready.”

Sicheng breathes out a soft thank you before watching Taeyong flit out of the room. He turns over on his side, eyes trained on the creme colored wall, trying to steady the heartbeat that isn’t there.

 

_____

 

As Taeyong enters the living room, it’s silent, all eyes on him. The others sit, waiting to hear about the new member to their family. The look on Taeyong’s face in unreadable, leaving the others antsy for anything.

“Hyung—“ Yukhei begins.

“He’s okay. He’s scared right now. I talked to him, and he seemed to calm down.” Taeyong says, running a hand through his hair. “I told him to come out when he’s ready.”

“It’ll be okay.” Jaehyun pipes up as he enters the living room, trying his best to console Taeyong. He has a blood bag in his hand, lightly sipping on it as he comes up behind Taeyong and rests a hand on his shoulder. Taeyong nods, gnawing on his bottom lip. He knows Jaehyun is right, he usually is, but it doesn’t ease his conscious. “Here, you need it more than me.” Jaehyun speaks, offering up his blood bag. The other takes it, muttering a thanks before he begins to drink.

“Hyung, come sit down!” Yukhei says with a bright smile. Leave it to him to try and lighten a mood. Taeyong is truly thankful for his presence. He makes bad moments easier, and they have a lot of those. The shorter listens, plopping down next to the younger who immediately clings to him. Yukhei lets out a large breath of air. He knows he doesn’t need to breathe, but it’s his way of showing his comfort. He’s still a newborn after all, some of his human tendencies haven’t left him yet.

Taeyong stares blankly ahead at Doyoung and Jaehyun who are busying themselves with one another. Ten had left a while earlier, going to the blood bank to stock up on bags for the newest vampire. Having one newborn in the house easily depleted supplies, even if he is a good 6 months old. However, with a young Sicheng, blood bags become even more of a necessity to the household.

Taeyong half listens to Yukhei ramble on about something, his mind otherwise invested in Sicheng. He could hear the young one breathing, or at least attempting to, still not familiar with the fact that he didn’t have to do so anymore. He wants so badly to return to the room and hold Sicheng, tell him it would be okay and that he didn’t have to be afraid because they would all be with him no matter what. However, he knew that that could easily overwhelm the newborn, and that’s the last thing he wanted to do to him.

“Hello?” Yukhei pokes the elder, causing Taeyong to blink himself back to reality and look towards Yukhei. “Did you hear me?”

Taeyong shakes his head, “I’m sorry.”

“Are we going to the feeder house tonight? I’m hungry.” Yukhei pouts like a child, his hands clinging to Taeyong’s shirt. Taeyong takes in the bright red hue in his eyes, showing that the bloodlust is exceedingly strong.

“Yes, we will.”

“Even if the other one doesn’t want to come?”

Taeyong smiles at the younger, “His name is Sicheng—and, yes, we will go even if he isn’t comfortable yet.”

“He should go,” Doyoung speaks up. “He’s freshly turned, he’s gonna need to properly feed if he wants to control his hunger.”

“And if we push him he might pull away, refusing it all together, and that will turn out worse,” Taeyong responds, to which Doyoung scoffs in reply. “He wasn’t changed willingly like you were, Dongyoung. He was killed by a Rogue, his last moments filled with terror. He didn’t want this, so we have to be careful with him.”

Doyoung says nothing, responding by leaving the room. Jaehyun shakes his head, turning to Taeyong with an apologetic expression before following after the other. Taeyong looks to the empty couch before Yukhei grabs his attention once more.

“How many bags did you have today?” Taeyong questions.

Yukhei lets out a sheepish smile, “Five and a half.”

“A half?”

“Doyoung took my last blood bag, saying we needed to save some for the newborn, but he drank the rest of it anyways!” Yukhei explains.

“It’s okay, you’re doing better. I remember when you drank twenty bags in one day, and almost put the bank out of business.” Taeyong teases, causing Yukhei’s face to flush in embarrassment.

Taeyong’s attention becomes so stuck on Yukhei that he doesn’t hear Sicheng shuffle into the living room, not until Yukhei speaks up. “Uhhh, Hyung,” is all Yukhei says before Taeyong is on his feet and looking at Sicheng. Sicheng stands idly, his fingers picking at his nails nervously. The lighting is better in here, highlighting Sicheng’s and the Rogue’s blood splattered across his t-shirt. His cheeks are smeared with blood, showing that he cried again and tried to wipe away the tears. He timidly looks up at Taeyong, his eyes wide and pure despite the horrors he’s faced within the past few hours.

“Sicheng, how are you feeling?”

“A little better, I think?” He speaks clearly, and here Taeyong can hear the accent in his voice. “I’m still not used to—“

“It’s okay, it’ll take awhile to get used to… everything.” Taeyong responds, a small smile on his face. “Yukhei, get him something to drink.”

Sicheng watches as the vampire sitting in the couch leave the room at vampire speed before returning with a dark red blood bag. He smiles brightly at Sicheng, holding the bag of blood in his hand like it’s a juice box. “I’m Yukhei! You’re Sicheng, right? Let’s be friends!” Yukhei’s smile is infectious, causing Sicheng to smile properly for the first time in a while as he nods in reply. Yukhei holds the bag out to Sicheng, and Sicheng watches it warily.

“You have to feed. Blood bags won’t feed your bloodlust but they will help with the cravings. You need fresh human blood to help the hunger,” Taeyong explains, watching Sicheng stare at the bag. It’s clear the newborn doesn’t know how to open the blood bag, so Taeyong closes the space between them and shows him how to work it.

Sicheng’s cheeks are flushed as he looks down at the now opened bag. The metallic smell causes the monster inside to run rampant, and he uses every ounce of his being to not tear into the bag like an animal. He wraps his lips around the opening, taking his first drink as a vampire. It tastes just like blood tastes, but now it’s something he thirsts after. He begins to chug down the blood, squeezing the bag between his fingers to get every drop from it. His stomach twists into something wicked as he finishes off his food

Taeyong watches him silently, trying to rid the thought that Sicheng looks beautiful like this, as a vampire. Sicheng looks up to him timidly, embarrassed, and waits for a sign from Taeyong. “Better?”

“More,” Sicheng replies softly. He would be blushing furiously if he were still alive. His embarrassment becomes worse as Taeyong and Yukhei laugh softly.

Taeyong nods, “Okay, we’ll get you more.”

Yukhei butts in, “We only have one more blood bag, that’ll have to hold him over until Ten gets back.”

Sicheng looks over to Yukhei, silently wondering who this “Ten” is. Taeyong responds with a grunt before softly placing his hand on Sicheng’s elbow and leading him to the kitchen. To Taeyong’s surprise, Jaehyun and Doyoung stand at the island, Jaehyun rubbing his back softly as Doyoung looks off into the distance. Their attention turns to Sicheng, a fierce stare from the shorter boy making Sicheng feel small—causing him to shrink towards Taeyong. Taeyong nudges him softly, letting him know there is nothing to be afraid of.

“Hi,” the taller of the two says, a warm smile taking home on his face. “I’m Jaehyun, and this is Dongyoung.”

“Doyoung,” the shorter bites. Sicheng nods to the both of them, Doyoung’s stare still leaving him uneasy. Jaehyun notices his nerves, and quickly slaps Doyoung on the shoulder. “Hello,” is all Doyoung says.

“Hi,” Sicheng meekly replies, playing with his fingers as he does. His attention is quickly taken away from them as he smells another blood bag being opened. Taeyong has left his side and is now back with food in hand. It isn’t long until Sicheng quickly grabs for it, his stomach moving faster than his mind.

Taeyong chuckles before handing it to Sicheng, the younger taking no time to rip into it. A blissful look takes over his face as the dark red liquid goes down his throat. He holds the bag closer to him, shame washing over him as he acts like a starved animal in the face of blood. He gulps it down without hesitation, despite his mind shaming him, finishing it in seconds flat. His hunger is gone for a moment, before the monster calls out again, demanding to be fed. Sicheng licks his lips, looking up to Taeyong, a look of utter vampirism in his face: eyes bright red, with his fangs peeking out from behind plump lips stained with blood.

“Still hungry?” Taeyong questions, to which the other responds with a nod. “I know, Ten will be back with some more blood bags soon.”

“He needs to feed properly,” Doyoung cuts in. His expression is hard as he looks at Taeyong’s profile. The other doesn’t look his way, still looking at Sicheng. Doyoung’s eyes jump to meet Sicheng’s before going back to the elder. “Blood bags aren’t gonna hold him over forever. He needs to get a taste of the fresh stuff, or else he’s gonna hurt some people.”

“Doyoung stop—“ Jaehyun begins.

“Do you want me to lie? Tell him it’s all sunshine and he can stay here with blood bags and not have to hurt anyone. Sorry Taeyong, I can’t play your game, and you can’t just sit and wait until he’s comfortable. He’s gonna hurt someone that way,” Doyoung bites before rushing out of the room.

“Sicheng, I’m sorry,”Jaehyun can say before he follows after Doyoung once more.

The room is silent, and the air is thick. Sicheng doesn’t know how to respond other than to start crying. He feels so overwhelmed by everything, and Doyoung’s outburst makes him feel exponentially worse about himself. He begins to sob, his cries becoming vocal as the tears of red fall down his face once more. Taeyong grabs hold of him, bringing him close in attempts to soothe him. Sicheng’s cries become muffled into Taeyong’s shoulder, the boy’s fingers gripping tightly to his shirt.

“Sicheng,” Taeyong speaks softly. Said boy pulls away, sniffling and rubbing his cheeks with his bare arms. He looks at Taeyong, blood tears welling up in his eyes, and Taeyong instinctively reaches out to pet his head. “I’m sorry.”

Sicheng can’t say anything, only shaking Taeyong off and replacing the older vampire’s warm embrace with his own. He feels so alone, so empty. He knows that Taeyong wants to help him, but his mind betrays his heart. “I want to be alone,” he whispers to himself, choking on his breath.

“Okay,” Taeyong says. “Do you need help getting back to your room? Yukhei—“

“No,” Sicheng cuts in. “No, I’m fine.”

Taeyong watches as Sicheng stumbles away, still not used to the speed that comes with vampirism. His shoulders visibly slump as he watches the newborn flit down the hall towards the room he woke up in. The vampire feels Yukhei come up behind him and wrap his gangly arms around the elder’s shoulders. He buries his face in the crook of Taeyong’s neck, an uncomfortable position that Yukhei is willing to deal with. Taeyong softens at this, his hand coming up to rub Yukhei’s arm in a thankful manner.

“Please don’t be sad,” Yukhei whispers softly.

Taeyong sighs, causing Yukhei to snuggle further into his neck. The elder knows the newborn wants everyone to be happy and that Yukhei is silently upset at the tension left in their home. Of course, Yukhei would never admit it, he’s supposed to be the fun loving and carefree one, and he doesn’t want anyone to worry about him. So, Taeyong lies. He tells the giant newborn that he isn’t upset, pulling out the ‘I’m tired’ bullshit that Yukhei will have no choice but to give into. Yukhei just holds him, the two standing in the kitchen, listening to Sicheng’s panicked breaths from down the hall.

Ten’s loud voice startles the two, causing Yukhei’s arms to loosen their grip from around Taeyong’s shoulders. The short male walks into the room, cooler in his hand and cheeky smile on his lips. “Did you miss me?” Ten asks as he sets the cooler on the counter.

“Yes!” Yukhei responds goofily, eye’s sparkling and smile wide. “Did you bring me back some food?” Ten doesn’t get to respond before the newborn starts digging through the cooler, quickly opening a blood bag. Ten scolds the boy, telling him to save some for the newest addition to the family. The way Ten says family upsets Taeyong. Would Sicheng ever be able to call them his family? Would he resent life forever because he never wanted to be changed? Will he become a Rogue or end his life before that happens?

“You missed a lot,” Taeyong speaks up, doing anything he can to get his mind off of the thoughts swarming in his head. He wouldn’t think that way. Sicheng would be alright.

Ten’s eyebrows furrow, and he looks up to Yukhei who has stopped gorging on his blood bag. Ten knows something is wrong, Yukhei would never stop eating. They’re upset, and Ten hates when they’re upset. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t know. I—I don’t think so.” Taeyong sighs. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to force him to do anything because I know this is hard for him but he can’t—“

“I know. It’s okay Tae, you don’t always have to know what to do. Was it Doyoung? I had a feeling he might act out.” Taeyong only nods. “Hmm. How about we send a peace offering—“ he pauses to look at Yukhei. “Doyoung will come around, I know he will. I’ll go talk to the newborn, try to introduce myself and make him feel more comfortable. Okay?”

Taeyong nods. Even if Ten was his child, his creation, he couldn’t help but think that Ten was a better vampire than him sometimes. Taeyong thanks the skies for Ten, because despite Taeyong’s affinity to nurture and support the others, Ten was always there to help him when he felt defeated.

“I’ll put the blood bags away,” Taeyong nods. “Thank you, Ten.”

 

_____

 

Sicheng is exhausted and hungry. Crying as a vampire was no different as doing the same as a human. It took your whole being, leaving you with nothing but a mess of salty tears dried onto your cheeks. Except now it was blood, blood his mind sought after. The same blood he tore into not long ago. He hates himself, he hates everything he is. He just wants to go back home to China, he wants to hug his mom and he wants her famous Jiaozi. He wants to be alive again.

Sicheng tucks himself under the blankets and curls into a ball. Maybe if he sleeps he can wake up from this nightmare, or maybe he’ll never wake up. Sicheng knows he’s already dead, and that scares him more. This self realization that he isn’t himself. He’s just an animated corpse. What if he loses himself, becomes something unrecognizable?

Taeyong wouldn’t let that happen, he thinks.

His thoughts shock him. Despite his fear, he trusts Taeyong. He knows Taeyong wants to take care of him, to protect him and teach him how to be a proper vampire. And that upsets Sicheng more because then he knows this isn’t a dream, that it’s all real.

The opening of a door alerts Sicheng, and he lifts his head in alarm. Through the darkness he sees a new face. The male is short, but his face his soft. His black hair is floppy and long and falling in his eyes, but he pushes it away. “May I sit?” He asks, Sicheng can only nod.

“My name is Ten,” the male says. So this is the Ten Sicheng heard them speak about.

“Sicheng.”

“What a nice name, Sicheng.” Ten smiles, his eyes delicately scanning the newborn’s face. “How are you feeling, Sicheng?”

Sicheng relaxes as Ten sits down next to him, a delicate smile gracing his features. The newborn feels comfortable around Ten, a feeling he's been struggling to meet. Cautiously, the other vampire reaches out his hand, and Sicheng stays frozen—watching as Ten’s fingers come to comb through his hair. “It’s okay to be scared,” he whispers.

Sicheng nods. His voice is trapped in his throat, leaving him weak and helpless as he has always been. His eyes look to Ten’s wide and innocent, and finally the older vampire can understand Taeyong. Sicheng is young and beautiful—untouched by the ugliness of the world. Even after his life was taken from him so quickly and he was thrown into a foreign world, Ten can still see the purity hiding behind his fear and bloodstained cheeks.

“I remember when I first turned,” Ten piped up causing Sicheng to look at him quizzically. “I chose to be turned, yet I was so scared. I was scared of never seeing my family, or turning into a monster. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be myself anymore, that the power that comes with being this thing would consume me. Then I realized I had Taeyong. He saved me, and without him I don’t think I would have been able to hold onto myself.

“Taeyong just wants to help you. I know this is hard for you and you’re petrified of what you’ve become, but you haven’t lost who you are. You’re still Sicheng, just a different version of yourself, a better version, if you please. Taeyong would never let you become a monster, even if you believe you already are. He cares about you, just as much as he cares about me or the others. I know it might take time but please try to let him in, let us in. We want to help you and support you. You’re our family now, Sicheng.”

Sicheng responded breathlessly, his eyes falling victim to Ten’s kind stare. His words touch Sicheng, but the boy is too distraught to think of anything besides his own death, no matter how smooth and comforting Ten’s voice is.

There are so many things running through Sicheng’s mind, but the most prominent thing is how hungry he is. Taeyong was right, the blood bags could only do so much. His stomach twists into knots, begging for blood and causing Sicheng’s eyes to screw up in pain.

“Hungry?” Ten questions, to which Sicheng can only nod weakly. “You need human blood, fresh human blood—not just blood bags.”

Sicheng whimpers and shakes his head. “I don’t want to hurt anyone,” he whispers.

Ten’s fingers run through Sicheng’s hair once more. “We won’t let you, I promise—but Sicheng, you need to feed or else we might not be able to stop you from hurting people.” Ten pauses, his hands cupping the newborns face, causing Sicheng to open his eyes and stare at Ten’s serious expression. “You won’t hurt anyone, Sicheng. You’re a newborn, but I can tell you’re strong. Everything will be okay. Please, I don’t like seeing you in pain, and neither would Taeyong.”

Sicheng nods. “Okay.”

 

_____

 

The feeder house doesn’t live up to its name. It can easily be called a mansion. It’s tall and beautiful, dim lights shining on the marble pillars. Sicheng didn’t even think he would ever be in love with a house, but here he is marveling over the beautiful oak door. The man who lives here (his name is Taeil, at least from what Taeyong told him) must be well off from his feeder business. It’s a bit frightening to the newborn —how people can just be so willing to let creatures that can kill them casually drink from them? It’s like having tea with a black bear or a mouse befriending a cat.

Yukhei leads Sicheng through the door, the two newborns following behind Ten and Taeyong, and into a foyer which is as beautiful as the exterior of the house. Sicheng is wide-eyed despite the bright light being harsh on his newborn eyes, spinning in a circle to take in the room. It isn’t until he hears a voice call out for Taeyong that he is shook from his amazement. His eyes follow a shorter vampire glide down the stairs, followed by a taller human who does not descend with equal grace.

“Taeyong, it’s a pleasure to see you,” the vampire smiles, his pearly white fangs flashing.

Taeyong nods in response. “Hello, Taeil.”

Before Taeyong can speak another word, Taeil is standing in front of Sicheng. The vampire, Taeil, studies him carefully. “He’s a cute one. I could always take him off of your hands if you ever wanted me too.”

Sicheng turns to Taeyong, silently begging him with every ounce of his being to not let this strange man take him away.

“He isn’t for sale, Taeil.”

“Oh, I wasn’t looking to pay you. I would take him off your back free of charge.”

Taeyong glares at the overly dressed vampire. “This isn’t up for discussion. You already have a plaything.” Taeyong speaks, motioning to the taller human still standing at the foot of the stairs.

“Johnny isn’t a plaything! He is my trusted worker and my lover,” Taeil scoffs, his hand reaching out for the human. The human responds by coming up behind Taeil, their hands linking together before Taeil softly smiles to the taller of the two.

Sicheng’s attention is no longer focused on the conversation but rather the loud pulse of Taeil’s human. The smell is dangerous and lovely, and Sicheng uses all his might to hold himself back from tearing into the vein coursing with fresh blood. Yukhei notices Sicheng’s discomfort and desire and squeezes Sicheng’s hand. The newborn looks up at Yukhei who gives him a soft smile before calling out to Taeyong.

“He’s hungry, really hungry.” Yukhei says, his eyes falling down to Sicheng who is deeply breathing.

“I see,” Taeil comments. “Come this way.”

The vampires follow closely behind Taeil, Yukhei practically draging Sicheng along. The group finally reaches a room, and Yukhei flits to the couch, sitting Sicheng and himself down on the plush upholstery. Taeyong comes to sit next to Sicheng, his hand resting on his thigh and his head ducking down to look at Sicheng’s face.

“Hey, you’re doing great. Look at me Sicheng.” The younger obeys, his eyes falling victim to Taeyong’s red ones. “It’s okay. I know you’re scared. It will be okay.”

“Well, little one,” Taeil calls out for Sicheng. “I’m letting you feed on Johnny, so be thankful. He knows how to handle newborns the best, and I don’t trust any of our new feeders to stay still.”

“Stay still? I don’t—“

Ten pipes up. “It’s instinct for vampires. If our prey starts to flail, then it’s harder to pull away from them, making you more likely to kill them.”

“Oh.”

“Exactly. Johnny is incredibly good at staying still when feeding, especially with newborns. Take care of him now, Sicheng,” Taeil says, his hand gently guiding Johnny towards the hungry newborn.

Sicheng stiffens up as Johnny climbs into his lap, his legs straddling the hungry vampire. “Relax,” he coos. “It’s more comfortable for both of us this way.” Johnny grabs onto Sicheng’s hands, guiding them to his waist. This is the most sensual position Sicheng has ever been in, and he would be beyond embarrassment if Johnny’s neck wasn’t so close and didn’t smell so good.

The human stretches out his neck, and Sicheng notices the multiple fang shaped scars, most of them probably belonging to Taeil. Sicheng feels his head moving towards Johnny’s neck, his fangs out and his mouth opening up. His lips attach to Johnny’s neck before he feels his teeth pierce the skin. Johnny sucks in a small breath upon contact, and his grip on Sicheng tightens slightly. The newborn begins to feed, the feeling absolutely euphoric to him. The thick, warm blood tastes ten times better than the cold blood bags he previously had. Sicheng doesn’t want this feeling to ever stop. The way the blood hits his tongue and slides down his throat feels so good, and the taste is indescribable. He thinks Johnny’s blood might be the best thing he has ever tasted, even better than his mother’s imfamous dumplings. He pulls Johnny closer and sinks his teeth in a little deeper, continuing to suck down Johnny’s life force like it’s juice.

Sicheng feels his grip on Johnny slipping as the human is pulled away. The newborn let’s out a small whine, pawing at Johnny’s chest as if to ask for more. He looks over to Taeyong, who watches him closely. Sicheng is a bit messy, blood dripping from his lips until his pink tongue darts out to catch it. Johnny removes himself from Sicheng’s lap and cleans the blood off his neck before wrapping his arm around Taeil’s shoulders and pulling him close.

“So cute,” Taeil coos. “Sicheng-ah, you can come back as much as you want, free of charge.”

Ten raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t it a bad business strategy to be giving out free meals to customers?”

Taeil waves him off, “I make plenty of money here, one less customer won't kill me. Besides, I’ve taken a liking to your newborn. That’s something that not everyone can receive from me.”

“How kind of you,” Ten mutters with an eye roll.

“Ten,” Taeyong calls out with a warning tone. “We’ll let Yukhei feed and then we’ll be on our way. Thank you for your kindness, Taeil.”

Sicheng tugs at Taeyong’s sleeve, his eyes wide and innocent despite just feeding on a human. “Are you not going to eat?”

“We fed two days ago the last time we brought Yukhei. Besides, we’ve gotta get home before sunrise,” Taeyong explains, watching Sicheng carefully. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

Taeyong nods. “You’ll be hungry again soon. It’s something you can never fully quench. You just have to learn how to deal with it.”

With his eyes trained on Taeyong, Sicheng didn’t even notice another human enter the room, fresh faced and smiling, nearing Yukhei. Greetings exchanged between Yukhei and the human are so mundane, and Sicheng realizes this is his life now. Things like feeding off of humans are normal. Blood will be normal to him, to the boy who was squeamish as a human. Someone who couldn’t even handle blood from a paper cut now has to drink it to survive, and it’s even worse that he likes it. As he watches Yukhei feed, he isn’t sure if the knot in his stomach is his hunger or his fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this gem for awhile now and finally after what has felt like forever I feel confident enough to post this. This is my first work on AO3 so I'm very excited to see where this platform will take me. 
> 
> I want to thank AJ and Taylor from the bottom of my heart for helping me with this. You guys have encouraged me so much and aided me when I needed you. This story is just as much yours as it is mine.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter, and that it serves as a good start to this fic. Any comments you have are welcome, I love hearing what you guys have to say. Thank you so much for any support you leave me!
> 
> Oh, and Happy Taeil Day!
> 
> (The title of the book is based off of a song with the same name by Palaye Royale! Y’all should give it a listen!)


	2. Meeting with a Rogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All eyes are on Taeyong during the council meeting, but he pays them no mind. He only thinks of a newborn Sicheng, who wakes for the second time.

Taeyong taps his foot. He has chosen to not be as social as he is used to, currently preferring to skirt around the edge of the room and avoid conversation with others. The council meeting is important, extremely so, but Taeyong’s mind is only focused on Sicheng. The newborn should be waking up soon, and Taeyong is afraid that something bad might happen while he’s away. He trusts Ten to take good care of Sicheng, but he knows that Doyoung is a bit pushy, and he fears he might be too harsh on Sicheng even after Doyoung swore up and down he would play nice in Taeyong’s absence. 

His hand fidgets with his phone in his pocket. Ten said he would notify Taeyong as soon as Sicheng woke up. So when he feels his phone buzz, he’s almost too quick to yank it out of his pocket.

Sicheng’s awake, it reads. Jaehyun and Yukhei are keeping him company, he seems okay right now. I’ll take him to the feeder house later into the night.

“Is all well in paradise?” A voice teases. Taeyong looks up from his phone to see Taeil standing there, a glass of expensive wine in hand. “I hope the newborn is taking to the new environment well.”

Taeyong gives him a sideways glance before responding to the text and shoving the phone back into the pocket of his expensive dress pants. “He’s doing—fine.”

Taeil tilts his head, “You don’t seem certain. You seem, uneasy. Did you not bid him goodbye before you left?”

“He needs to rest, I felt it unnecessary to wake him up.”

“Oh, but it’s quite the opposite.” Taeil muses, causing Taeyong to give him a questioning glance. “So that peaked your interest? Interesting.”

Taeyong huffs, knowing that Taeil’s trying to get a rise out of him. He pushes himself off the wall, scouting the room for anyone else to make conversation with. “You are certainly difficult, aren’t you, Moon Taeil? It’s a surprise that human still sticks to you willingly.”

Taeil reels back, hurt on his face. It was a sight to see Taeil express emotions like that. Taeyong knew Taeil as prideful; he was an old vampire after all. Vampires like Taeil don’t show their vulnerable side or emotions, willingly, opting to smile through and through, lashing people with their words. It seemed as though that Taeil’s human was a sensitive topic. The human meant a lot to him. He was one of the few who saw the real Taeil at the end of the day.

“If you’re going to insult me and my human then I’ll take myself elsewhere. It seems like being away from your newborn has turned you into a neurotic mess. At least I can function without my dick getting sucked.” Taeil spits out, the venom lacing his words. Taeyong doesn’t even realize that Taeil’s knuckles are turning white before his wine glass shatters in his hand. “Oh look, I’ve made a mess. Maybe I should get my human in here to clean it, right, Taeyong?”

“Taeil, I—” Taeyong begins.

The shorter waves him off. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me, Lee Taeyong. I’m well aware of where you stand. Had Sicheng still been human and needed your help, would you have treated him with the same kindness? Would you have made him your pet? Would he have stayed? Willingly?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Taeil,” Taeyong whispers.

Taeil laughs, pulling his handkerchief from his breast pocket and finally wiping the wine and blood from his hands. “You don’t mean a lot of things, right? I bet you didn’t mean for Sicheng to be turned, that you just happened to find him out of coincidence.”

“Do you really think that low of me? That I would just watch as that Rogue killed and turned him?” Taeyong seethes, stepping close to Taeil.

“If the shoe fits. Don’t get me wrong, Sicheng is a darling one, but maybe that’s the exact reason why you so happened to find him. You knew of him before he was a vampire, didn’t you? You were infatuated with him, and him turning into a vampire was a perfect opportunity for you to finally take what you wanted.” Taeil pauses, his eyes crimson with fury. “You think you’re better than you were when you were one of them, but the truth of the matter is is that you’ve never changed. You’re still willing to sacrifice the beauty of human life for your own gain.”

Taeyong stands frozen, his eyes falling to the ground as Taeil spins on his heel and marches in the other direction.

 

———

 

As the sun fell, Sicheng rose. His second awakening as a vampire is much more peaceful and less frightening than his first. He pulls away the expensive satin sheets, sliding his feet into a pair of slippers Ten let him borrow. The vampire had insisted he wears them, for he wanted Sicheng to be nothing but comfortable while living in the house.

He shuffles out of the room (his room? He doesn’t think he’s ready to call anything his yet). He peers into the living room where he finds Yukhei still dressed in pajamas (Ninja Turtles? Sicheng would have thought him a Power Rangers fan), his hair a fluffy mess on top of his head. Yukhei takes a moment to notice Sicheng’s presence, the boy sluggish much like Sicheng, but when he does he bursts into a bright smile.

“Good morning, Sicheng!” Yukhei belts out, causing Sicheng to wince at the other newborn’s loud voice.

“It’s 7 pm, dingus,” Doyoung retorts as he enters the room. He stops next to Sicheng, holding out a blood bag for him, eyes expressionless. “Here, breakfast.”

“It’s 7 pm dingus,” Yukhei mocks, before quickly yelping and shying away from Doyoung’s strong glare. Doyoung nears Yukhei, handing him a blood bag before ruffling his hair and going back to the kitchen where Sicheng can hear someone humming.

Sicheng looks down at the blood bag in his hand, the horrid feeling in his stomach returning. Hesitantly, he begins to tear open the blood bag and slowly sip on it.

“Hey!” Yukhei says in between gulps. “Come sit with me!”

Sicheng obeys, plopping down next to the larger boy while he slowly sips on his drink. He watches as Yukhei finishes his blood bag in a few gulps, crushing it between his large hands like it’s a juice box. Yukhei pulls away from the bag with a satisfied sound, licking his lips afterwards. It doesn’t take long for his goofy smile to find its way back onto his face, and he is soon watching Sicheng like a begging puppy dog. Sicheng looks down at his blood bag, before tipping it towards Yukhei as an offer.

“No, sorry! I forgot I can’t do that with you. Usually, with the others I just smile and they share but they’re a lot older than us.” Yukhei explains. “How are you feeling? Drowsy? It’s because the sun hasn’t fully gone down yet. Vampire typically wake up at dusk or right after the sun has fully gone down. The sun makes us drowsy and can kill us, but that’s not the point.”

Sicheng looks up at Yukhei with wide wondering eyes. He has so many questions, and thankfully Yukhei is a loud blabbermouth that doesn’t like to shut up. “What else can kill us?”

“Mostly sun. Regular weapons can’t kill us, and Jaehyun told me that only weapons spelled by magic can really wound us. We can eat human food, which is nice because, while I like blood, sometimes I really want some gushers. Crosses and Garlic don’t bother us, but there is this plant that does. It kinda looks like lavender from what Taeyong said, but I’ve never seen lavender in my life!” Yukhei rambles on, Sicheng listening intently as he continues to drink the blood bag. “Charms can inhibit us and our powers. Some can hurt, but most just slow us down, or charm a room so we can’t hear inside.”

Sicheng only hums in response. He becomes so invested in Yukhei’s words that he doesn’t realize Jaehyun has entered the room until he smells more food. His eyes snap to the elder who greets them with a beaming smile. “What are you guys talking about?” Jaehyun questions as he takes steps to sit down next to his two newborns. Wedging himself between them, he lovingly pushes Yukhei’s extra fringe out of his face and pats his cheek. Turning to the other, he hands the other Chinese boy a blood bag. “How are you feeling, Sicheng?”

“Better,” Sicheng nods as he finishes off his first blood bag and moves onto the next one. “Drowsy and hungry, but better.”

“I’m glad. It won’t come easy at first, but you have us to guide you. I see Yukhei took initiative in telling you some things.” Jaehyun says, nudging an embarrassed Yukhei. Sicheng silently nods, giving the taller male a thankful glance before looking back at Jaehyun. 

“One last thing that can hurt you: your bloodlust. It’s the most powerful things Vampires have. You have to learn to control it or else it will take you over and turn you into a monster, a Rogue.” Jaehyun states in all seriousness, his eyes becoming dark.

“L-like the thing that killed me? Taeyong had mentioned it.”

“Exactly, you seem to be managing well so far. A lot of newborns would have been on their fifth or sixth bag already, and you’re showing progress by not ripping into your food. Not to say eating fast is bad,” Jaehyun pauses to glance at Yukhei, “but it teaches control.”

The room falls silent. He isn’t exactly sure how he should feel towards Jaehyun’s statement. Fear? Pride? Is it even valid for him to be proud of himself when he’s so fucking scared of his newfound vampirism? What even is there for him to be proud of? Hurrah, he didn’t kill someone (he can’t even think like that, is that what he’ll be reduced to? A serial killer?). It’s only the second day, he doesn’t think it’s fair to congratulate him. 

Sicheng shudders. Oh, where his mind takes him. He feels the pain again, the feelings of the hand around his mouth and the arm on his shoulder. He sees the fangs coated with his blood. He sees the wicked smile, the eyes void of emotion. He tastes the vampire’s blood on his tongue, and the soft cooing as the vampire eases Sicheng into feeding on him. Then he feels the snap, the moment he dies and the moment the vampire blood in his veins decides he will rise again as the same monster that killed him.

He shifts in his seat, staring down at the second blood bag in his hand as his own mind threatens to swallow him whole. “Also, your fangs.” Jaehyun piped up, causing the fearful newborn to break away from his thoughts. “You might prick yourself on accident for a while. They’re a bit weird to work around, but you’ll get used to them.”

“Besides! You look cute with your fangs, Chengie!” Ten interrupts as he sashays into the room, followed by Doyoung, this time with a blood bag of his own.

“Chengie?” The boy questions dumbly. 

“You,” Doyoung answers dully from his place, dodging warning glances from Jaehyun. 

“Oh,” Sicheng whispers.

Ten coos, standing over Sicheng and petting his head comfortingly. “Ahh don’t let Dongyoung get to you, he’s just upset because he didn’t get any last night.” Ten notices Doyoung’s irritation, and snickers softly to himself.

“It’s Doyoung,” he growls. 

“If you won’t call Yukhei by his nickname then why should I call you by yours?” Ten challenges.

Doyoung grits his teeth. “It's because Lucas is fucking stupid. Does that boy look white? I’d rather be dead than ever call him Lucas.”

“Technically you are,” Jaehyun interjects, unintentionally pissing Doyoung off even more.

The two continue to bicker with one another, and Sicheng finds this oddly comforting. It’s so domestic, so normal, so human. It feels like he’s back in university with Yuta and Kun, at the cafe in their usual seat where many debates between Yuta and Kun took place. The vampires in front of him, who argue like an old married couple, remind him of home. 

The bickering ceases once Ten interjects, no longer amused with the lover’s quarrel. Sicheng looks up at Ten, softly giggling. The room falls silent in response to Sicheng’s demeanor, leaving the Chinese boy confused.

“Look! He likes it!” Yukhei states, but with his loud voice, his words are amplified.

“Great, now I have a valid reason to bully you,” Doyoung jeers, causing Yukhei to pout in response.

“Why are you smiling, Chengie?” Ten asks cheerfully.

Sicheng shakes his head, stars in his eyes as he watches the vampires around him. “You just remind me of my friends. They used to bicker like this. It’s— It’s comforting.”

Sicheng smiles dumbly to himself. It feels weird, foreign even. The smile on his face is completely real and natural, and it surprises him. He never thought he would be able to smile again, to feel comfortable. Yet, the others are quick to remind him of normalcy. His smile falters. They remind him of normalcy, but this isn’t normalcy. It’s just an illusion, a mirage. He won’t get to sit at that cafe again with his friends, laughing among them while they all sipped on coffee. He won’t get to feel the comforting warmth of the sun on his cheeks as Yuta and Kun bicker about the apartment they shared. He won’t get to feel the mug heat up his frosty fingertips as he drinks hot cocoa during snowfall. 

“Hey, Sicheng.” Jaehyun nudges him, causing the Chinese boy to shake his head and hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. 

“Sorry,” is all Sicheng can manage.

“You sure are sorry for a lot of shit you can’t help,” Doyoung comments causing both Ten and Jaehyun to shoot him warning glances. “What? I’m trying to comfort him like you guys said.”

“You suck at it,” Ten speaks flatly before crouching down in front of Sicheng. “Sicheng, it’s gonna be okay we—”

“Where’s Taeyong?” Sicheng cuts in. His cheeks would be red in embarrassment if he wasn’t dead.

Ten’s head quirks in surprise, his eyebrows shooting up before his face relaxes into a smile. “He’s out on some business right now. He’ll be home before sunrise. For now, let’s go out! Our little babies need to eat, right?”

Doyoung scoffs, “Way to make it sound fucking horrifying, Ten.”

Ten turns to glare at him. “We literally live off of human blood, Dongyoung. I’m just keeping it realistic.” 

 

_____

 

Taeyong can’t stand to be in this room one moment longer. Jeongsu speaks at the front of the room, his expression nothing but serious, an unusual look on him. The other important vampires hang onto his every word, even Taeil, who stands straight, not giving Taeyong the slightest bit of his attention. The Rogues have been the topic of the night, and it feels like every time they’re mentioned, eyes shift towards him. Taeyong really doesn’t want to be here. He’s never really been into the political crowd of their world, but apparently, he’s too respected and feared to not be in it. At least that’s what Changmin likes to tell him. 

The council is nervous, Taeyong can feel it as he stands in line with them. The alarming number of Rogues has scared them, and, if the council is scared, there is a serious issue. 

“We can’t take this situation lightly,” Jeongsu says, and Taeyong wants to snort in response. 

No shit.

They plan to increase their defenses. They think that the Rogues might attack the feeder houses. Taeyong’s eyes fall to Taeil who stands impossibly straighter, eyes still focused on the Council president. 

Taeyong knows, no matter what, their efforts are fruitless. Rogues are loose cannons. They don’t plan, they just do. They act recklessly and they don’t think about the repercussions. They don’t care who they hurt, they don’t care if they have the power to expose the vampire world. He’s told the other council members this numerous times, and every time they tell him their safest bet is to protect, protect, protect.

Jeongsu goes over a few more things before the meeting is called off and the others are left to their own devices. Taeyong is thrown into a mess of handshakes and ending comments between the council. When he is met with Jeongsu’s face, the other turns his nose at Taeyong, already aware of Taeyong’s feelings about the matter.

“They’re reckless,” Taeyong reminds.

Jeongsu nods, his face tight. “So are you.”

Taeyong grips his hand tighter, pulling him close. “I’m part of this council, too, so why do you choose to ignore me?”

“Aren’t you the black sheep of us? The one who doesn’t really want to be involved? You just want to be left to your own devices. You’re really only a figurehead for us, Taeyong. Everyone knows of you, so if they see that you side with us then they will go along with what we have to say,” Jeongsu responds flatly, pulling his hand from Taeyong’s grip.

Taeyong grits his teeth as Jeongsu leaves him, humiliated and ridiculed by his comment. He watches spitefully as the man finds company with Junmyeon and Yunho.

“He’s an asshole.”

Taeyong whips around, meeting Sunyoung who has a cheeky smile on her face. Behind her stands her companion, a witch named Amber with shaggy hair combed neatly. “He can hear you, you know that right?”

Sunyoung nods, “That’s what makes it better.” 

The two fall silent before Amber pipes up from behind Sunyoung. “I agree with you, you know.”

“Hm?”

“Setting up defenses is foolish. Soon enough, they’ll let their guards down, and the Rogues will attack.” 

Taeyong shakes his head, “No, Rogues don’t think, they just do. They aren’t going to wait, they don’t need to. Their frenzied bodies hold a lot of power, albeit they don’t harness it properly and can get easily tired out. It’s not smart to wait for them to come to us because they are unpredictable and we don’t know what they’re capable of.”

“So it’s better to attack first?” Amber questions.

Taeyong nods, slowly. “Something like that. They’re hardly sitting ducks like this. They never congregate in one big area. If we were to attack it would be small pods at first, the small nests they’ve made.”

Amber makes a sound of understanding before whispering something in Sunyoung’s ear. The charm dangling from her wrist is an indication that she has spelled it to nullify a vampire’s hearing. The two mumble a few things among each other before turned back to Taeyong.

“We’ll help you,” Sunyoung says brightly.

“I’m sorry?”

Amber butts in again, “With the Rogues. We’ll help you.”

“I don’t understand,” Taeyong states.

Amber smiles, boyish and reckless. “You’re going to lead a revolution, Lee Taeyong. I’ve seen it.”

“That’s why we are at your service. I know in my heart of hearts that you will finally bring this era to an end and that I will be able to live peacefully,” Sunyoung finishes off.

The two women look at him with determined smiles. Taeyong had never planned to take action against the Rogues on his own, but perhaps the support from others might drive him to do so. For now, he had Sicheng to worry about. The boy was only two days old, and, while he had shown much restraint, he was still unpredictable and held extreme, unharnessed power inside of him. Sicheng was the most important thing to him at the present moment, and Taeyong would never leave Sicheng to take down the Rogues until he knew the Chinese male could stand on his own.

“Thank you,” Taeyong nodded.

Sunyoung shook his hand, “We’ll be in contact with you.”

“Also, it would be wise to—”

Amber’s voice was cut off by the ringing of Taeyong’s cellphone. Fishing the phone from his pocket, his expression contorting into one of concern as Ten’s number pops up on the screen. Ten doesn’t just call randomly; Ten prefers to text, only ever calling if there was an emergency. Taeyong apologizes to his company and excuses himself before answering the call. “Hello?”

Ten sounds frantic on the phone, blubbering incoherent things. “Taeyong, he, they, fuck—“

“Ten, please stop speaking nonsense,” Taeyong begs. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Sicheng.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize for such a long wait on this chapter. My life has been beyond hectic and I could sit here and explain why, but it would just end up being longer than the chapter itself. I have started college among other things, so it will be difficult for me to update this. I will still try to get updates in as fast as I can, but please understand that I'm human and I'm going to a very expensive ass liberal arts school and I really want to keep the scholarships I have. Thank you guys so much for being patient, I promise to try and come out with more updates. I'm hoping for at least two before November, and then many more through the months of November and December due to having an 8-week break from school. 
> 
> Please bear with me through this!


	3. The Understanding of the Monster on his Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng finds blood on his hands and wounds in his heart. Taeyong tries to clean them, but Sicheng would rather let them fester up and decay his fragile body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for blood, mentions of suicide, and self-harm.

There is blood, so much of it. Sicheng is in a daze, the blood on his tongue has hypnotized him and he can’t think straight. His mind chants for more, but he cannot comply as he’s been pulled away from his food.

 

The blood is messy, he can feel it dripping off his chin and onto his clothing. His fingers swipe some of the blood from off his chin, and he’s soon sticking said fingers into his mouth and sucking on them. It’s so good, so much so that he can’t even think about how wrong this is. 

 

He hears someone call out his name, and in his blood drunken state he can only make out the face of someone he thinks he used to know. They stand before Sicheng, an expression of absolute horror and loathing on their face. Sicheng nods off for a moment until his eyes slowly open again, this time Doyoung is holding the familiar face up by the neck. He slowly turns to look to a frazzled Yukhei who is attempting to calm his blood lust, assisted by Jaehyun. He doesn’t even register Ten crouched in front of him until the male’s voice rings in his ears.

 

“Sicheng,” he calls out, incredibly muffled thanks to the newborn’s hazy state.

 

Sicheng whines, reaching for Ten. “I— I’m hungry, Ten.”

 

Ten comes closer, slowly cradling Sicheng in his arms. “I know Chengie. I know.”

 

“I want blood. Please give me blood.” His tone is easily comparable to a toddler, high-pitched and pleading. He begins to hiccup, completely unaware that there are soft red tears falling down his face. “I want to feel better. The monster wants me to feed it.”

 

“Soon, Chengie. Taeyong is coming. Taeyong will help you feel better.” Ten promises, his fingers slowly combing through Sicheng’s hair.

 

The two stay like that for awhile, Ten holding onto Sicheng as a form of comfort, but also to restrain him in case he dives for the strange male who stumbled upon them when Sicheng attacked a young lady. Sicheng cries out for Taeyong, hands clawing at Ten’s back, until his words become incoherent blubbering.

 

“Sicheng,” the stranger cries out, but the blood has overtaken all of the newborn’s senses. His sobs are fruitless.

 

“Who the fuck are you?” Doyoung growls. 

 

“I— Yuta. My name is Yuta. Sicheng was my roommate before he went missing two days ago. We had gotten in an argument the night he went missing and I thought maybe he went to crash at another person’s house, but then he didn’t show up for his classes. I— I didn’t think he became a fucking bloodsucker.” The stranger, Yuta, babbles out, his words soon twisting into one’s of malice as he sends Doyoung a fierce look.

 

“Well  _ Yuta _ ,” Doyoung begins. “You fucking stink,  _ you dog _ . We didn’t kill Sicheng, he was killed by a Rogue, not that it’s your fucking business anymore. We’re his family now, and we’ll take care of this. So you can fuck off to whatever litter you came from.”

 

“Screw you,” Yuta spits.

 

“Look, Sicheng is not in his right mind right now. The blood lust has clouded any sense of a conscious, so right now he doesn’t know who the fuck you even are. He’s completely unpredictable, but once he is finally back to himself, we’ll find you. Just go home, you’re imagine of your perfect little Sicheng is already tarnished, I don’t think you want to ruin it anymore.” Doyoung finishes, finally releasing Yuta from his grip. 

 

Yuta looks to Sicheng, then to Doyoung, lip between his teeth as he thinks about his next course of action. “Keep him safe until we can meet again. Please.”

 

And with that, Yuta slips out of the dark alley, into the drunken and reckless nightlife of people who mimic Sicheng’s state of mind.

  
  


_____

  
  


Taeyong’s mind is reeling. He needs to get out of here. He needs to get to Sicheng. Taeil’s knowing look follows him as he rushes out of the grand building. He’ll be met with many questions and have to explain his early leave to other council members and higher-ups, but for now his main priority is his newborn who is currently drinking from an innocent person. 

 

He was afraid this would happen, but he never thought it would be so soon. It hasn’t even been a week, and Sicheng has already taken someone’s life. The mental toll this will have on Sicheng is exponential, and Taeyong isn’t ready to watch as Sicheng falls apart in front of his very eyes. He only wants to protect Sicheng, to help him, but all he seems to be doing it hurting the young boy.

 

Taeil’s voice rings in his mind.  _ You’re still willing to sacrifice the beauty of human life for your own gain.  _ They stick to him, and now he’s afraid that Taeil might be right. Was Taeyong really to blame for thrusting Sicheng into this life, a life where murderous intent is biological? Did he take in Sicheng for himself or to genuinely save the young boy? Was he still the same vampire he was before, the one who thought little of the beauty of living? 

 

Taeyong can smell Sicheng from miles away. He can also smell Yukhei, whose bloodlust is probably through the roof after watching as Sicheng ripped into an innocent body. He can smell the blood too, but when he finally arrives at the distant alleyway, the smell of blood hits him with such a power that he’s almost knocked off his feet. Sicheng was not clean in his kill. Yukhei must be losing his mind.

 

Doyoung is the first to sense him, eyes unreadable as he turns to look at the other. “Taeyong.”

 

Yukhei is whimpering for his sire, trembling as even Jaehyun struggles to hold him back. Taeyong hurries to Yukhei, who pushes past Jaehyun and into Taeyong’s arms. “Hyung, I wanna go home,” the newborn whispers.

 

“Okay Hei, you can go home.” Taeyong responds. “Jaehyun and Doyoung will take you home, okay? I’ll be home soon, I promise.”

 

Yukhei squeezes a bit tighter before he turns and clings to Jaehyun and the two flee from the scene, followed by Doyoung. 

 

Taeyong nears Sicheng, and just as he does Ten pulls away from the dazed newborn, turning to Taeyong with a worried expression. There is a glint in Ten’s eye that shows he’s disappointed in himself, that he let this happen while Taeyong was gone. Taeyong shakes his head as he looks to his creation, his child, a hand rubbing Ten’s shoulder in comfort.  _ This isn’t your fault, _ he thinks, and Ten seems to understand without a word being spoken. Taeyong’s eyes fall to Sicheng, whose lips and chin are painted a deep red. Blood streaks down his cheeks, and it’s heartbreaking to Taeyong because he’s almost certain that Sicheng doesn’t know he’s crying right now.

 

“Taeyong,” Sicheng whines before the elder can even say a word. And Taeyong is there, scooping Sicheng up in his arms and holding him like he might break. “I’m hungry, Taeyong. I’m so hungry.”

 

Taeyong hushes him, hand petting Sicheng delicately. “I know Sicheng, I know you’re hungry.”

 

Sicheng hooks his arms around his neck, pulling the elder in close and burying his face in Taeyong’s neck. The elder almost jerks back when he feels Sicheng begin to lick and mouth around his neck. “Won’t you feed me, Taeyong?”

 

“Yes—“

 

“Taeyong,” Ten calls out. “Are you sure?”

 

“I’m sure,” Taeyong responds. He cradles Sicheng’s head, jutting his head out to create a better angle for Sicheng to feed. “Go on, Sicheng.”

 

The newborn whimpers before he’s biting into Taeyong. He sucks the wounds hungrily, like the blood will disappear if he goes any slower. Taeyong doesn’t stop him, not yet, and stays pliant as Sicheng moves him around to find a more comfortable angle. The newborn’s hands grab tightly to the back of Taeyong’s dress shirt and pulls him flush against his body. Everything about this is so intimate, from their position to the fact that Sicheng is feeding from Taeyong, an act that is sometimes the equivalent to declarations of love and commitment in the vampire world. Taeyong doesn’t care though, he’s willing to give it up for Sicheng. 

 

Taeyong is surprised when Sicheng is the one to pull away, deciding he’s had enough of Taeyong’s blood. He falls back against the wall, pulling Taeyong down with him before he goes to work on licking Taeyong’s wounds, something he doesn’t need to do thanks to vampiric healing, but it’s something hardwired into a vampire that he does it anyways. Taeyong pulls away from Sicheng, watching as Sicheng’s blissful expression slowly morphs into a peaceful one. The newborn has fallen into a blood drunken sleep.

 

Taeyong sighs, pulling his handkerchief from his pocket and cleaning the blood from Sicheng’s cheeks and chin.

 

“We need to do something about the body,” Ten pipes up, his nerves getting the best of him. “I—I can call Taemin.

 

“Odds are it’ll just be marked as a Rogue attack. Whether she turns up dead or we burn the body and she’s deemed missing, it will still raise suspicion. We’ll clean her up and move her somewhere else just to be safe.” Taeyong states. 

 

“O—okay, I’ll call Taemin and get him on that for us.” Ten sputters out, pulling his phone from his pocket.

 

Taeyong nods, glancing to Sicheng. “He needs to go home, who knows what he’ll be like when he gets up.”

 

“Okay, I’ll wait here for Taemin.”

 

Taeyong bends down to scoop a sleeping Sicheng in his arms, the newborn shuffling until his arms are slung over Taeyong’s shoulders. 

 

“Oh, Taeyong.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Please stay by his side. He’ll want to see you when he wakes up. He kept crying for you, kept calling out your name. He needs you right now. Yukhei too, the whole situation shook him up. Please be there for them.” Ten begs, desperation in his eyes.

 

Taeyong looks down to Sicheng whom sleeps peacefully in his arms. He didn’t do this for himself, he did it so Sicheng can live again, despite his vampirism. He holds Sicheng close not for his own selfish gain, but because he doesn’t want to see the youthful gleam disappear from Sicheng’s eyes.

  
  
  


_____

  
  
  


Vampire’s don’t dream, but Sicheng wakes up with a jolt as if he’s just had a nightmare. He doesn’t know where he is, but he can smell Taeyong in the room. So he calls to him. 

 

Taeyong answers immediately, rushing to Sicheng’s bedside and cupping the side of the newborn’s face, thumb catching the tears that are slowly running sideways down his face. He hates crying now. He’s been doing it too much lately.

 

“How long have I been asleep?” Sicheng whispers out, because that’s all he can manage right now.

 

“It’s been 3 nights since the incident. You’re energy was spent, I wouldn’t be surprised if you slept for another week.” Taeyong softly states, and there is something loving that lingers in his voice. 

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“Newborns are like babies, hence the name. A baby only has so much energy, and as a baby turns to a child, they get increasingly more energy. That’s the same for vampires. Newborns have a lot of unharnessed and very powerful energy, however since you don’t know how to control it, it’s very easy to wear yourself out. You used a lot of energy during the incident, even managed to break past Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Ten. That’s not an easy feat. You spent so much of your energy that you needed to rest to replenish it. Do you understand?”

 

Sicheng nods, eyes scanning Taeyong’s face. He’s good at hiding his emotions, Sicheng’s noticed, because he can’t depict what Taeyong’s feeling paast the soft and familiar smile that plays on his lips. Taeyong’s pretending like everything is okay, but Sicheng knows that it’s an absolute shitshow right now.

 

He’s killed someone after all.

 

He can’t remember who he killed, but maybe it’s better that way. If he can’t attach an identity to the body, there is less emotion attached to the kill. Yet it still stings. It feels as if someone has poked a hot iron through his chest, right where his beating heart would be.

 

“You’re going to have to feed. Taeil is being kind enough to bring a feeder over.” Taeyong states.

 

Sicheng shakes his head, “I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I killed that lady.”

 

“I know,” Taeyong whispers. “I know it hurts, but if you don’t feed you might do something worse in the future.”

 

“I don’t want anyone to see me. I— I feel so disgusted with myself. I hate myself.” 

 

Taeyong pulls away, his hand falling slack at his side. “Please don’t say that Sicheng.”

 

“It’s true,” he murmurs. He turns his back to Taeyong, pulling the covers closer as he lets out silent sobs. 

 

Taeyong hesitates, unsure if he would comfort Sicheng further. He sighs, standing and heading for the door. “I’m gonna get you a blood bag. I’ll be back.”

 

“I don’t want it.”

 

“Sicheng,” Taeyong replies sternly.

 

Sicheng flits towards Taeyong, standing in front of the elder, fresh blood streaming down his face in the form of tears. He hates crying now. He’s so weak, and he hates himself for it. “I killed someone Taeyong! I killed someone and I liked it because at least I got to feed. I don’t want to be like that. I can’t be like that.”

 

“Sicheng. You need to feed. I know it hurts, and I wish I was there for you, but if you try to cut yourself off from feeding you’ll go crazy. We need to feed to survive.” Taeyong explains.

 

“What if I don’t want to survive?” Sicheng counters.

 

Taeyong falls silent, shocked by the boy’s words. Was he really telling Taeyong he wanted to die? Taeyong had seen vampire’s beat themselves up for taking a life, saying and doing far more extreme things than this, but the way Sicheng spoke, the way he whispered it out like it was a secret only Taeyong could know, shatters his heart.

 

“Sicheng, I—“ Is all Taeyong can manage right now. The death confession has left Taeyong speechless, and he can do nothing as Sicheng collapses into Tayong’s arms, face burying in the crook of his neck. Taeyong holds him tight, bringing him to the bed as the two lay down, Sicheng still wrapped in the elder’s arms. 

 

They stay like that for a little longer until Sicheng’s sobs are reduced to soft sniffles. Taeyong pulls away from their embrace, pushing Sicheng’s hair from his eyes to get a better look at him. 

 

“I don’t know how you’ll feel later, but for the time being please let me take care of you. Once you feed and your able to stand on your own again, we’ll have this same talk. If you don’t want to live as a vampire any longer when we do, then I— I’ll agree to your wishes.” 

 

Sicheng slides away from Taeyong’s touch, looking down to his hands before he nods in response. “Okay,” Sicheng agrees. “I want to be alone for now, though.” He doesn’t wait for Taeyong to say anymore, as he is already sliding down into the bed, letting the sheets cover himself.

 

He lies there, the soft satin wrapping around his body. He feels like it squeezing him, taking all of the life force he doesn’t have. The sheets wrap around his neck, pulling, pulling, pulling. He claws at his neck, trying to free himself, but finds nothing there. It isn’t the sheets that are strangling him, but perhaps the hands of the person he killed. Maybe they want revenge for the things he’s done. He killed them and could have left a man or woman without a spouse, and children without a parent. So he lies there, letting the cold hands of his dead victim wrap around his neck. He lets grey fingers press on his throat. It won’t kill him though, they can’t kill him. He wishes they did, nobody would miss him for long, he’s sure of it. Not the vampire with red hair and gentle eyes. He would soon forget Sicheng, for he is only a speck in the eternal lives that vampires live. 

  
  


_____

  
  
  


As Sicheng mourns the death of his victim, Taeyong sits against the door doing the same. Yet the sadness is not for the woman Sicheng can hardly remember killing, but rather for the newborn himself. Taeyong’s knees are to his chest as he sits there, hands weaving through locks and tugging. He does everything in his power not to do something self-destructive, to hurt himself. He knows that will do nothing, but maybe a hunter’s knife through his arm or a witches’ hex would do him good. He doesn’t know what to do, he needs guidance, but has no sire to turn to. He can’t possibly ask Jaehyun or Doyoung or Ten, or even Yukhei about this, he can’t lean on them for this. Bringing Sicheng was his choice, and by doing that he put the others in potential danger. He must deal with the repercussions of his choices.

 

He silently sobs, but he doesn’t notice it until blood drips onto his cotton shirt. He wipes it away quickly, but it comes as fast as it goes. Before he knows his shirt is stained red, but it’s his own this time. He’s okay with this, it isn’t the pain he desired to feel, but he will accept this anguish in large waves. It’s a pain that hurts just as much as a blessed knife to the stomach. It’s a pain he hardly feels this intensely, but when Sicheng looked to him and uttered words of death, it broke him more than anything he’s ever experienced. He didn’t want Sicheng to die, but forcing him to live would be selfish.

 

_ You’re still willing to sacrifice the beauty of human life for your own gain. _

 

_ You’re still willing to sacrifice the beauty of human life for your own gain. _

 

_ You’re still willing to sacrifice the beauty of human life for your own gain. _

 

It plays like a mantra in his head, clouding any sliver of optimism. He can’t help but feel that Taeil was right, that Taeyong is a selfish monster who wants to keep the beautiful Sicheng for himself, to selfishly keep his warm and gentle heart all to himself. Sicheng didn’t deserve that though, like Taeyong didn’t deserve the Chinese male. So he decided that he would no longer be like the person Taeil uttered him to be. He would give Sicheng anything he wanted, even if it was eternal sleep.

 

“T—Taeyong?” A voice calls out. Taeyong looks up, eyes meeting the other newborn who stares down at him with furrowed eyebrows and sorrowful eyes. He kneels to the ground, walking on his knees until his slender fingers wrap around the sire’s bicep. “You’re crying— why are you crying, Taeyong?”

 

“It’s nothing,” Taeyong reassures, shrugging off Yukhei’s touch.

 

“Taeyong,” the newborn says sadly, his voice fading. His fingers start to rub at the blood on his cheeks. It doesn’t do much, more so just smearing blood across alabaster cheeks. Taeyong stops him, holding the newborns wrists tight. Yukhei whimpers in response, staring at his sire with betrayal in his eyes. “Stop… you’re hurting me.”

 

“Leave me alone, Yukhei.” Taeyong grits, grip on the newborn’s wrist unfaltering.

 

The newborn begins to struggle, his free hand trying to pry Taeyong off of him, while his trapped wrist twists and wiggles to escape. He can’t though, Taeyong is far stronger than he is. His pleas get increasingly louder, and Yukhei stares at Taeyong in fear. Then it stops. Taeyong lets go, eyes becoming wide in realization. He feels his sired child’s fear through their bond. It’s poisonous and stings Taeyong, burning him from the inside out. He feels all that Yukhei feels at this very moment, from poison that covers his heart to the throbbing of his wrist. He can also feel the tears pricking Yukhei’s eyes, leaving him with intense sorrow and regret. His eyes soften immensely, reaching out to comfort the crying newborn. “Yukhei.”

 

The taller responds by scampering away from Taeyong, long legs pushing him far away until he is a good distance away from his sire. He looks betrayed, utterly and completely broken at what just took place between them. He gulps, before letting out a shaky breath he doesn’t even need. He’s scared though, Taeyong knows that, he’s so scared that he’s reverting to human like mannerisms such as the quick and sharp breaths that echo in his ears. 

 

“Yukhei I’m sorry. I wasn’t myself, Hei, I really wasn’t.” Taeyong pleads, hands still reaching out for Yukhei. 

 

“N—No…” Yukhei breathes out, quickly pulling himself to his feet before he slowly steps away from Taeyong. The sire tries to follow, his eyes apologetic and calling for his child, but Yukhei resists. He spins on his heel, dashing away from Taeyong at a human speed. He watches him run. Down the hall, into the living room, and then on into their kitchen, before the others are screaming out the newborn's name. It’s too late though, Yukhei has ran out the door, flitting away into the nighttime, and Taeyong is left alone again.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! First off, I want to thank you all so very much for your support! I have been extremely busy with the past holidays, that I hardly had time to write, so much so that finishing off this chapter is the most of probably written in a few months! Continuing on that thought, I have been incredibly busy, yet I have still received immense support from all of you who have been patient in waiting for this fic! It means a lot to see that there are people who love this as much as I do! I would also like to say that despite very slow updates, this story has not lost a place in my heart and is one of the few works that I still enjoy writing very much! I have many things in store for my little kiddos of this fic, and while updates may be slow, I will still work hard to give you content you enjoy!
> 
> Thanks again for the support, and I hope the next chapter can be given to you sooner!


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